Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
We are a fifth edition actual play podcast
and I am your dungeon master, Rust More.
And with me today is Amy More.
Yes, I am here.
And I also play Thea Amastasia.
And this was a little weird.
Nailing it, nailing it, nailing it.
Every time, all the time.
I'm gonna stop you there.
Stop, stop, stop you there.
And Carla Johnson is also with us.
Hey, I am also here.
Make it awkward, make it awkward, make it awkward.
I play Nulara Moonbrook.
Thank you.
And Tom Laird.
Yeah, that's me as well.
Maybe, yes, definitely.
Yes, that is the one.
And I play Flint Firebeard.
Hi guys.
Hey. How you doing?
Hi, Ira.
You're doing super awkward today.
Hey, question.
You know, when you were in elementary school
and the teacher used to take a role
and you would get like kind of nervous
before it was your turn to say here.
That's exactly how I feel every time.
Because we never know whose name Russ is gonna say first.
So you have to be like ready.
You have to be ready for it.
I always had teachers do it alphabetically.
So I was, I felt prepared.
I knew, you know, after so-and-so Gilroy.
Yeah, you'd be up.
Yeah, me too.
I guess I met more that like, I don't know,
that like awkward anticipation of having to like say here.
Yeah, how am I gonna say it today?
Present.
Present, exactly.
That's just what I'm gonna say next time.
Present, present accounted for.
Accounted for.
Well, I'm sorry to stress you guys out so much.
No, it's fun.
I love it.
Today, we're gonna talk some mechanics
and some level ups because we haven't done that in a while.
We've really delved into our character sheets
and see what we got going on there
and remember what we have going on there
and how to use it.
Pure mystery.
So we're gonna do that for the first little bit
because we got two levels for everybody to go up
and then also a whole bunch of stuff
for maybe some stuff on their character sheets
that we'll go over and just make sure
everybody knows what's going on
and how they can D&D the best.
That they can.
To the best of our ability.
That's right.
Which is like a three out of 10?
Yeah, that's pretty close.
Five at least.
Oh, good.
That's good confidence, Amy.
I like it.
We also just wanna, what month is it?
It's still June, which is women in tabletop gaming month.
Yes, bonus Epps.
Bonus episode.
Last week was Amy's episode.
Hopefully you enjoyed that.
And next week.
Is Carla's episode.
Double yes.
Yes, Carla.
Did you just boo?
Don't boo your episode.
They're both great.
That's real fun, you guys are real fun.
I sang on your episode.
Yeah, you did a lot of that.
Spoiler alert for my episode.
It's amazing.
It's pretty spectacular.
And you guys.
I mean, if you thought Amy's episode was great.
It's true, Carla's is even better
because I didn't DM it.
Be astounded as Russ and I
play identical looking characters.
Amy plays a teenage boy.
It's very fun.
It's great fun.
We won't give it all away though, no spoilers.
So tune in next week to find out how that wraps up.
And also if you're joining us for kind of the first time
because it was women in tabletop gaming month.
I mean, this is a bit of an off weird episode
because we're going into our characters.
Who are you?
What are you doing here?
How did you find us?
That's what I wanna ask.
Women in tabletop gaming.com
is probably how they found us.
Okay, all right, yeah.
Which thank you for joining us.
But also if you like what we have going on
and maybe you've joined us now or earlier,
we're on Patreon, Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
And each episode or whenever we remember to do it,
a lucky patron gets an episode dedicated to them.
Like today is Joshua Dixon.
Joshua Dixon.
Joshua.
Thank you, Joshua.
You get the shit storm.
This is yours.
This is all yours.
So lucky.
Yeah, take it for what you've been holding out for.
It's very good.
Do you like it when we talk about mechanics?
I hope so.
This is your episode.
I'd like to know how, you know, like engines work.
I like the amount of silence for a company that.
Maybe maybe we could rebrand
to like a popular mechanics for kids.
If that's never been taken.
I like that.
Perfect.
Yep.
All right.
First up, can opener.
Welcome to popular mechanics for kids.
We're not gonna, no.
No.
It's not gonna work.
It doesn't feel right.
Do you guys know how anything works well enough
that you could explain it?
No.
Although I know that both Alicia Cuthbert
and Jay Baruchel have like astounding careers
after being on that show as kids.
That's true.
So you think it would be a good stepping stone for us.
I definitely think so.
There's only one way to go from here.
Right?
Up.
Yes.
Up.
In the upsy lifty machine.
In the upsy downsy machine.
The upsy downsy machine.
Listen to the return to the guild episode
if you don't get that.
That's a deep cut going back two episodes.
That's a real deep cut.
Real deep cut.
I have to say before we get started,
there was a couple people that left reviews
for us on our Facebook page
and they totally made my fucking day.
So thank you so much.
I got to answer one before Russ did.
I typed it and as he was typing,
I was like, oh no.
I'm gonna say thank you first.
And I did.
I mean, that's great.
And then I texted Russ and I was like,
ma-ha-ha, beat you to it.
I love it.
Work's been real busy.
You guys, work's been real busy.
Real busy.
And back to Patreon.
If you're on Patreon,
you just heard the finale a few days ago
of our current arc that we had going on,
which Tom DM'd and it was a fabulous wrap up.
It was so fun.
Super awesome.
So that is up there.
You can binge right on through that 11 episodes
and then next month,
we are starting up a new campaign.
With the new system,
we're rolling with Fatecore
and we can't even really get into it right now
because of how secretive it is.
Because we don't know.
That's why we can't get into it.
It's the biggest secret of all.
It's so secret.
We barely know.
That's right.
But we'll be diving into a session zero
and find out how Fatecore works
and how we can set up the game.
And then we're gonna be jumping into that new story.
So now's a great time to join us on that community,
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
A fun game for our Patreon listeners
is listen through the 11 episodes
and try to find the fight where I totally fucked up
and made it way too hard for everyone.
Spoiler alert, you're gonna find it right away.
Yeah, it's really easy to find.
Yeah.
When it rolls into hour six of the episode,
you'll realize. Oh my God.
It was so tragic.
It was fun.
We had a great time.
It was a very fun arc.
Excellent.
Pop Culture Wars is a great supporter
of Dumbgeons and Dragons as well.
And they're fantastic.
All the guys and girls over there,
popculturewars.com,
they sell pop culture merchandise.
T-shirts, hoodies, leggings,
all from the latest.
And that is wars with a Z or a Z.
Z or a Z, yes, sorry.
popculturewarswithazetoraz.com.
They're a small online company,
but they wanna make sure that they do the best for you
and give you high quality materials.
So go check them out to get all the latest T-shirts
from like Deadpool and Rick and Morty and Star Wars.
If you go see, you know, go see,
I don't wanna shout out movies.
They don't need our help.
Can I slam a movie real quickly?
Yes.
Yeah, go.
Yeah, sure.
Deadpool 2, not as good as the original.
Boom, you've been slammed.
This is what's stuck in my mind right now.
See, our sponsor really likes Deadpool though,
so that's my gig cut.
Hey, the T-shirts on popculturewars are like,
I shouldn't just say the T-shirts,
like the merch you can get with their designs on it
are great and a delight.
They're adorable.
Yeah.
Yeah, all of them are either like cute
or cute slash like gross or cute and offensive.
Cute and disturbing.
Yeah, it's very, it's great.
When you said a Z or a Z,
now I think that should be like a monster
that we fight and it's called a Z or a Z.
Oh, I like that.
And then now it's stuck in my head,
so if someone can create a monster.
Ty, we're looking at you.
Ty, that's right, my man.
A Z or a Z.
It's in there and it won't come out, a Z or a Z.
Popculturewars.com.
With a Z or a Z.
When you get over there,
use the promo code DumbDragon,
get yourself 10% off.
And they also have free shipping
to Canada, the US, Australia, New ZeAlydind, and the UK.
It's pretty great.
Pretty great.
Fuck it, guys, let's talk characters and shit.
Woo, that's totally what we usually say.
So catchy.
Such a catchy catchphrase.
I can see why we say it.
We're not playing D&D.
We're not really playing right this moment.
Yeah, makes sense.
Tune into.
Playing means you're gonna have fun.
This is serious business.
If you like mechanics, you stick around.
If you like gameplay,
tune to insert time here later, Russ.
And you can skip ahead.
Or if you also just like to listen to us banter
and be off topic, stick around
because that's gonna happen.
This is where what we're actually good at,
bullshitting and loving each other as friends.
This is where it's gonna really shine.
This is a great time to jump on board.
And if you want to hear how boring it is
to level up a champion fighter,
you just wait, it's coming.
It's coming real fast.
I bet Tom got stronger.
Maybe.
Perhaps.
Spoiler alert.
No, he did not.
In fact, once you hit level 12,
they start taking things away.
No.
To make it more challenging.
I like it.
Well, because you're getting older too, right?
Like as time goes on.
Older, wiser.
He's at least three weeks older
since you guys started playing in game time.
Holy shit, hold on.
Level 12, I'm reading here.
First gray hair in beard appears.
No.
Level 16 is in the pubes.
I thought that's what Amy was gonna say to be totally honest.
You know what?
I'm ashamed that I didn't go there.
Yeah, I assumed as soon as you said first gray hair
that it was gonna be self-improveable.
Puberty.
Yeah.
What a cruel world would that be
that your first gray hair at all is in your pubes?
It would not be motivating.
Wouldn't that be horrific?
You'd be like, well, it's all fucking done now, isn't it?
Yep.
See, we stay on topic.
Yeah, totally on topic.
It's gonna be great.
So what we're gonna do is
we're gonna level everybody up
and then we're gonna talk character sheets
because there's some unearthed arcana stuff
that Carla's character knew Laura has to do
to make her, you know.
More interesting?
More awesome.
More interesting.
Not more interesting.
Not Carla more.
Kind of thing.
Kind of Laura's character.
So the other thing we can do
is just kind of touch on your,
I guess the goals that you have been doing and,
you know.
Just a little debrief.
A little debrief.
I think we should all roll a dice
and the highest person does theirs first.
Oh, that's a good idea.
D20?
Yeah, D20.
I was only gonna roll a D4
so my options were very limited.
I got an 11.
I think Tom said that as well.
I did.
I got an 11.
Add your initiative modifier.
Oh, I got an 18.
13.
Nope, 12.
I think Amy's gonna go first.
Cause I haven't leveled up yet.
Oh no, Carla has like a plus 10 in initiative,
I think.
Well plus eight.
So I have a 19.
Ooh, Carla goes first.
Yeah.
Well, if I can buckle up
cause mine is the most extensive.
So ready.
Okay.
So Rangers, fun fact.
Everyone hates them.
Okay, they get a bad-
Not in game.
Okay.
So I guess Wizards of the Coast
got the most complaints
about Rangers not being bAlydinced enough characters.
So, cause they're not like,
as good at fighting,
they're just like underpowered
compared to everyone else.
They're a jack of all trades,
but master of none.
Yeah.
And not in the fun,
jack of all trades,
actual D&D way,
but in the like,
kind of visual,
take normal vernacular way.
But in the player's handbook,
it was just poorly executed
compared to all the other classes,
I think is what it was.
Yes.
So a bunch of stuff has changed for me.
I'll just give you like the,
the quick version,
like it's all a lot more involved in that,
but,
and then,
tease,
we're gonna need to have a pretty serious conversation
about Donnie.
Oh, dang.
Oh.
I already know what I wanna do,
but it also is really up to Russ
what I can do.
I don't have money for this.
So,
so I now have,
I get plus two damage
to any successful weapon attack.
I have advantage on initiative roles
and in the first turn of combat,
I have advantage on attacks against creatures
who haven't gone yet.
Which works really well with your high initiative
because you wanna be first.
Yeah, I wanna be first
and then I can,
yeah, I have advantage against people
attacking me afterwards.
So that's good.
Cause I'm not super strong.
Like Tom is now gonna be like,
I don't know,
real fucking strong.
So that was my good,
good language that I use there.
Let's see my,
things have changed as well for
my favored enemies
in a few different ways.
So I got to pick favored enemies
at like certain points
and that gave me like sort of advantage.
I think advantage on roles against them.
I've already changed this,
but it was like nothing special.
But now my favored enemies,
I get plus four weapon damage against
orcs and gnolls.
And then I have a greater favored enemy
whereas they were all lumped together before,
which is dragon.
And so I get plus four weapon damage
plus advantage on saving throws
against their spells and abilities.
I was hoping you'd switch it to sheep.
My favored enemy is the sheep.
I hate those motherfuckers.
I also, it seems like
I was cherry picking that,
but I did already have dragons
as a favored enemy from like
whenever last time I got to pick one,
like level six or something.
But it didn't really do much for you.
Yeah, it didn't do really anything.
It was on skill checks based on like information.
Information about dragons.
And it's like, oh, that helps me in a battle.
Exactly.
I know your favorite color.
Exactly.
I knew history about them,
which like, yeah.
So that ties in also to my primeval awareness.
What it used to be is like my favored enemies.
I would know if there were some
within a mile,
but not how many there were or where they were.
So it was basically useless, right?
Like, it was like,
oh, we're going to hunt a dragon somewhere.
And then, oh, yep, there is one, you know.
There's one somewhere in the world.
But now it's much better.
Now I can tell within five miles,
which of my favorite enemies are present,
how many, the general direction they're in
and how many miles from us there are.
And if there are multiple groups of them,
I can learn that about all of them.
Ooh. Oh, dang.
So it is actually like very good.
You Lara got smart, yo.
Yeah, yeah.
It actually like is better.
And hide in plain sight was something
that I think I got at like level nine or something,
but it used to be that it was like a plus 10
to stealth basically.
But now if, and that was if I didn't move at all,
I had to like camouflage myself and then not move.
And I got a plus 10 to stealth.
But now if I, I don't have to camouflage myself
and if I don't move, they get,
like if they're doing perception,
like they're trying to see me,
they take a minus 10 to their perception.
So if I move or fall prone,
I lose that obviously,
because then they can see me.
But in theory, I could like still cast spells
that don't require movement and stuff
and they wouldn't be able to see me.
Okay, so the other big change.
Oh, I also have fleet of foot now,
which means I can dash as a bonus action on my turn.
I think that's kind of it.
Except here's where we're gonna need
to have a group conversation or Russ is actually the DM
so he gets to decide what I'm gonna do.
So in the player's handbook,
what would happen at 12th level
is that my animal companion, Donnie,
would get a second attack,
but they've changed it in the Unearthed Arcana stuff
and your animal companion is actually now
a way fucking bigger, tougher animal,
like way bigger.
I don't have it open.
How big is it?
Like a medium sized creature, basically.
Oh, wow.
The mystic gives is an ape, a black bear, a boar,
a giant badger, a giant weasel, a mule,
a panther or a wolf.
Yeah, and they get-
You could have T'Challa with you?
So they get their stuff all stacks as well.
Like in the player's handbook version,
like Donnie still had like seven hit points, right?
Like he was nothing because he's just a little
pseudo dragon and that was it.
I'm wondering, like what I would like to do
is not give up Donnie
because he has been around the whole time,
like since before we even started.
And he's got those sweet hats.
Yeah, those hats.
He does have an amazing accent,
which I feel like has maybe never been in the podcast.
I don't know, it's been an awfully long time.
It has been a couple times.
Just recently when we're like,
what does, how would Donnie say that?
He fucking packed a kind of yard butter.
Oh yes, I recall now.
That's all like trying to do, trying to do it.
But what I would like to do is
kind of find the middle ground of those two things.
So maybe let him keep that second attack
because his attack still is like not much.
He's just like a little dude,
but you did also, he did just get his like collar
that gives him like the ability to transform
into that gold dragon,
Wormling. Wormlings.
So it'd be cool to keep him,
but I did like upgrade his stats
based on the way the stats upgraded
if I had the bigger creature.
So, you know, he has more hit points now
and he just is tougher.
And there are a few other like mechanics
on how he reacts to me and what that all means.
Cause in theory, if I had started with this bigger creature,
like by this level,
it'd be like a fucking ferocious killing machine basically.
Which Donnie is not,
although he did like put a spider to sleep and stuff.
He's had some successes.
He's been fine.
But yeah, I don't know how you feel about that, Russ.
Like I'd be sad to get rid of him now,
but maybe we can still make him, you know,
tougher and stronger,
but he obviously won't be as strong.
So still let him have that second attack.
Yeah. So, I mean, giving him the collar
was kind of my help for him
to make him tougher and stronger
because you're right.
He should have been leveling up
or you should have, in theory,
picked somebody, something different to start, right?
Whatever, it doesn't matter.
But yeah, Donnie's been with the party
since the beginning,
when we started playing three years ago.
So long ago.
Yeah, can't get rid of him now.
So yeah, no, I'm not gonna be like,
yeah, get rid of Donnie.
If you said, well, I wanna get rid of Donnie
or work Donnie out of the story in some way,
then we could do that.
But I don't think that's what you wanna do.
Well, we like take him to a farm upstate
so he has tons of room to roam around.
I mean, it makes sense.
He's from Brooklyn.
He wants to go start his own auto mechanic.
Yeah.
So I guess what I can do or we can do together
is look at the gold dragon Wyrmling
because I also looked at the collar
that I gave him again.
And it is like a permanent effect.
It's supposed to be a permanent effect,
not like a choice thing.
Oh, okay.
So he puts it on and he's supposed
to be now a gold dragon Wyrmling
until it comes off in one way, shape or form.
So we can do it either way
because we said in the episode that it's like he chooses
or you choose and he just turns into it.
But in theory, what it's supposed to be
is the collar goes on and then he magically transforms
into this gold dragon Wyrmling and he is that now
until that gets damaged or negated
or anything in one way, shape or form.
Well, and he would thusly have the hit points
and the awesomeness.
Yeah, do you, Russ, can you send me the stats for that?
And then I can kind of look and see
if what makes the most sense
and then we can just talk about that,
you know, not right now.
Cause that would probably make him more
like those other creatures that he could have been.
And then we can kind of find a like middle ground.
It's like a happy medium
where you don't have to get rid of Donnie
but he can also be more helpful for the party.
I think compared to like compared to a wolf,
he's going to be more powerful as a gold dragon Wyrmling.
But depending on how the wolf would have scaled up
from when you first got it
to how it should be when you're level 12,
that might determine something different.
But yeah, we'll still include all like,
cause at level five, you know,
you should have like coordinated attack
where you fight as a team,
beast defense.
So while it can see you,
it has advantage in all saving throws,
storm claws and fangs.
Like it gets a bonus.
I think we should be marrying these two.
Yeah.
Donnie and the skills of.
No, yeah, that's totally it.
This isn't my character, I don't know.
Well, no, but.
It affects all of us, right?
Like it's so.
Well, and Donnie's a part of the team.
Exactly.
But he should, you know what?
It's not fair that he hasn't developed
any sort of abilities going on
in the matter of time we've all been together.
So you can understand why people like
with Wizards of the Coast would have
like kind of complained about it
because like when I chose him,
he was, you know, one of.
Cool, and cute.
That's the kind of creature that you got, right?
Like it was basically like a little pet
is what you got.
Based on challenge rating and that's what you got.
And you picked it
cause it was a cute little dragon guy.
That could read your thoughts and send you images.
I mean, come on.
It's a good scout for an early level adventurer.
For sure.
So that actually is probably, oh no.
I guess I had some other like normal stuff
that isn't the Unearthed Arcana stuff.
So I got one more spell.
I've got some like ability score improvements,
you know, like normal stuff.
And yeah, that's kind of about it.
It's the Unearthed Arcana stuff
is like the big changes for me.
So I should in theory be more helpful now.
You've always been really helpful.
Did you get more hit points too?
Cause don't forget those.
Yep, I got more hit points and I have,
I still have no charisma.
Shocking.
But everything else is a bit better
cause we did two levels, right?
So I. Yeah.
Wait.
Yeah, and the reason we, sorry,
the reason we did two levels for people listening
is the way Rise of Tiamat works is it's milestone.
So I mean, early on we did XP to gear everybody up,
but I switched to milestone
just cause it was easier to track.
And as Tom, Carla and Amy finished an art
or finished a storyline, it's like, okay,
well you beat this thing or you finish this thing,
you get a level.
It was just easier to kind of go.
And we, the way we've been playing
is we've been working towards
the Dragon Council episode,
which came out first this month for quite a while.
And that was one of the milestone pieces,
but also the Cuth battle was another milestone piece.
So we were working towards the Dragon Council thing,
which they had, we had already played through
and recorded and then the Cuth stuff.
And then it didn't make sense to just do one
right after the other.
So we just held onto them until this point.
So that, you know,
because we knew that it didn't make a difference
cause we had already recorded it,
we just left it until now.
Not that we would have needed any of the skills.
Yeah.
Really in a conversation.
Yeah.
That's a good point Amy.
Yeah, yeah.
Besides this way it's more exciting.
It's like a whole bunch of like fun stuff.
Get a huge buff going into kind of,
and we're going into like the third act of this story.
So things are gonna get tougher for everybody.
Things are gonna get more serious
and a little more dark.
And so it's good.
It's like we're coming to the end of a semester.
All right, you guys up until this point,
it's been a cakewalk.
Now the quizzes are gonna be harder.
The tests are gonna be more in depth.
Your writing is gonna be looked at.
More, exactly.
This group project is worth 50% of your grade.
Oh shit.
Like as far as- I hate working in a group.
As far as the storyline goes,
like these final few pieces are going to be, you know,
setting how the final battle or not battle
is going to go with the rise or fall of Tiamat at the end.
Right?
So yeah, it's kind of good going into this last part
where we're getting these buffs for these characters
and it's gonna be good.
Okay.
So Carla, you're leveled up.
Yeah.
Anything else?
We'll go through spells and stuff
after everybody levels up.
Spells and sheets and all that sort of stuff.
So who's next?
Amy is next.
I think I was next.
You rolled next highest.
Saving the longest for last.
This makes you stick around
so you have to listen to everybody.
You can't just peace out, go get a drink.
You guys have to-
Okay, good call, good call.
You guys have to bear with me here.
Okay, so level 11, I get one six level spell slot.
Damn.
Sorry, we're doing spells now
because that's like my only thing.
You didn't get anything else?
Not really.
I get an ability score improvement
at level 12.
What we said for the ability scores though
is you can choose either the ability score or a new feat.
Oh, right.
Because I had given you those two new feats
on top of your last ability score
but then going forward, we're going to pick or choose.
So if anybody else got an ability score,
you can choose a feat.
Yeah, I did.
I took ability scores though
because it was two, right?
And one of mine was still really low.
Like I still had like a zero on,
like a zero bonus or something on it,
except for charisma because I don't care about that.
That's not how Nulara rolls
but I did take it as ability score improvements.
That said though,
if you want to look through the feats
while Amy's going through her stuff,
and if there's one you would rather take
because some of the feats can be pretty good,
especially now that Nulara has a lot of other
kind of defense and combat based stuff.
Okay, so nothing else has really changed.
So I get a six level spell slot
and I wanted to talk to you guys
before I choose my spell because it matters.
These are my choices.
The first one, I have three that I'm choosing from.
Okay, Amy's just passing books.
Be a book stand, Russ.
Hold this book.
Yeah, God.
One spell that I can get, it's pretty ballin'.
It's called heal, which you know, I already have like.
It's a six level spell.
Yeah, it's a six level spell.
So I can choose a creature that I can see within range.
A surge of positive energy washes through the creature
causing it to regain, wait for it, 70 hit points.
Holy shit. Whoa.
Wow.
This spell also ends blindness, deafness
and any diseases affecting the target.
Yeah, so you know,
we may have been dying a lot recently.
I thought this one could be good.
But then I also was like,
fighting is important too.
And so the next spell that I was thinking of was,
oh, it was sunbeam.
Cause I have moonbeam.
So yeah. Yeah, you do.
Yeah, what's sunbeam do?
I love moonbeam.
I know, sunbeam is also pretty ballin'.
It is a beam of brilliant light flashes out from my hand
in a five foot wide, 60 foot long line.
Each creature must make a constitution saving throw
and receive 68 radiant damage
and is blinded until my next turn.
Damn.
I like 68.
Yeah.
You can create a new line of radiance
as your action on any turn until the spell ends.
This light is sunlight.
They make sure to say that, like it is sunlight.
So I don't know.
Are those the two?
I thought there was a third one.
Is there a third?
Oh, there's a third one.
And it is investiture of flame, ice, stone, or wind.
So essentially-
She picks one of those.
Yeah, I can pick one of these.
But essentially what it does is it covers my body
in the thing that I choose.
So like investiture of flame,
essentially I'm a blaze
and I am immune to fire damage, resistant to cold.
Anyone within five feet of me takes one D10.
I can choose to create a line of fire,
15 feet long and five foot wide.
And the creatures in there take 48 fire damage.
Ice is very similar, but it's 46 cold damage.
Stone gives me resistance
to bludgeoning, piercing, slashing
from non-magical attacks and so on.
So it's not-
So it is a good range
because that's like healing, fighting
or protecting yourself.
Yeah.
So another thing that apparently I can do
is I can get rid of spells.
So I could take like,
if I'm not using fairy fire from my level one,
I can choose to remove fairy fire
and then add another six level spell.
But I only have one six level spell slot.
So in a battle, I can only,
so I could choose between healing
or the crazy fire thing.
So I don't know if I should be switching
a lot of stuff out knowing I could only use it once.
Like I will have to choose between them anyway.
But what would you, so say, okay.
So the question you have is
should you be a healer, be a tank
or should you have the ability to choose both?
And I think the ability to choose both
is a much more useful tool to you
because when was the last time you used fairy fire?
I can't remember, it was once for funsies, I think.
Although if you reread the description of fairy fire,
it is a very baller spell
and you should be using it constantly.
Really?
Yeah.
Maybe I just don't understand it.
But I mean, like there are certain things that I don't,
cause I mean, right now I do have to,
like I've got cure wounds and I have mass cure wounds.
I've rarely used heat metal or thunder wave.
Yeah, those were things like,
I feel like you use those early on.
Like I remember using heat metal to like,
yeah, to like, you know,
burn someone in their armor or whatever,
which was cool,
but it was definitely when we were like
second level characters.
So yeah, like you just don't really use those.
My like gut,
and this is just my like nihilism speaking,
maybe as a character,
the inevitable rise of Tiamat, et cetera, et cetera,
is that that healing spells rad,
but I would like you to be able to fight more.
Like I feel like you miss out sometimes on the fighting
in a way that isn't as fun for you
because Tom's like killing, killing, killing.
And that's going to be even more of that now,
I suspect.
Which is awesome because that needs to happen more as well.
For sure.
But you, yeah, like if it was me,
it is more fun to like fuck shit up with spells
than it is to heal people afterwards,
which is maybe not very nice.
I'm going to play devil's advocate though.
Yeah, it's more fun to deal combat.
But we're not here to have fun.
No.
But what's, but.
I have made it abundantly clear
that this is not what this podcast is about.
If somebody, fuck off.
If somebody drops to dead,
they are no longer fighting and no longer healing.
True. It's true.
I do have mass cure wounds.
I'm just playing devil's advocate.
And cure wounds though,
that I can pull out at many different spell slot levels.
What's the difference between,
I mean the obvious difference,
like mass cure wounds cures all of us
and cure wounds only cures the one specific person.
See, cause you have that, right?
And you have used it.
We do have some good like healing potions now.
Yeah.
So.
Well, then I think what I'll do is,
I think I will take,
I'll go through and I'll look at fairy fire again.
Thank you for the heads up.
Yeah, you should cause it's awesome.
But I mean, and I also have detect magic,
which I feel is silly.
Because the way you describe things,
like you see like a, you know,
and I'm just like, I'm gonna detect magic.
I know it's magic.
Yeah, that's fair.
It's always magic.
But I mean, with detect magic though,
you also get what type of magic it is.
Yes.
Sometimes.
With an arcana check, you don't get that, right?
Like if you want to know lore about something magical,
that's what an arcana check does.
Detect magic.
If you want to know it's actually magic
and what type of magic it is
and how to try and potentially stop it.
This is a protection spell.
That's what detect magic.
This is gonna spray poison all over the place.
Oh, okay.
Okay, so here's what I'm gonna do.
I think I'm going to remove heat metal,
thunder wave and wind wall.
And I think I'm going to take higher level spells and-
I'm also gonna say spoiler alert.
You will level up before Tiamat is even like around again.
So there will be more spells that you can-
Or maybe not around as we know.
Or maybe not around.
Who knows?
See, look at this.
Go either way.
Around, not around, right?
So, but I mean,
these are ones that I definitely don't use.
And if I just even replace them within their own level,
within their own level with a different spell,
you know, something like something might work.
So I think I will take,
I think I will at least,
I'm gonna take two.
I'm gonna take the heal and I'm gonna take sunbeam.
I think. Nice.
So that I have two options in a sixth level spell.
If shit's going our way,
but it's taken a long time to kill something.
But like I, what Carla says is totally true.
Cause sometimes it takes me so long to cast something.
And then for the turn to come back around to me,
like when it's a really big fight,
that all the damage has been pretty much done.
Like, like I'll,
like I'll conjure up a whole shit ton of wolves
and then the fight will be over before-
Yeah, cause you have to wait until your next turn
to like do something with them, right?
So yeah, there has definitely been times
and don't get me wrong.
I fucking love it.
Like there's been gators and there's been wolves.
There's been all these creatures and it's so fun.
But then most like, not mostly,
but it has definitely happened
where then we're just like hanging out with them.
Cause like how long are they around?
They're around for an hour, Russ.
We're hanging out with the fucking wolves.
I don't care.
Of course we are.
We're back in the woods now.
I guess, I guess to that,
it's like threat analysis and action economy, right?
Like you see you're walking into a dragon battle.
You don't wait till six turns in
to cast your big spells.
You know what?
I didn't know if like,
can I cast that spell outside of battle?
Well, you can cast it whenever,
but you don't know you're in battle
until you're in battle.
Yeah.
Well, no, but I mean,
if we're walking into a dragon lair,
can I just be like, look shady?
I want some sharks.
Sure.
Well, sharks might be an odd choice, but-
There was water in that one.
Yeah, but you can make a tornado with your wind wall
and then boom, sharknado.
I need to apologize immensely
for not using fairy fire before.
I would like to make a public apology
to all of our listeners and to you guys
as it gives advantage on attack roles
to anything that is outlined in the fairy fire
and not just from me,
I could have fucking covered that dragon in fairy fire.
No, I couldn't have
because he would have used legendary resistance,
but other things and you guys would have always
had advantage on your attack roles.
I was selfish.
Yeah, it's an awesome spell.
I never make attack roles.
What does it matter?
Well, cause everyone else in the party makes attack roles.
Amy, stop being such a selfish bitch.
I mean, I was thinking those things,
but I would never-
This is really why I hung up the call.
I was like, Amy, you're being such a selfish bitch.
They're gonna be so mad when they find out.
No, I gotta say,
my brother deserves credit on that one
because he specifically in the character he rolled
for the game we're playing with his nine-year-old
made a character that had fairy fire
cause he read it and was like, oh, this is so awesome.
And then when we were playing and he cast the spell
and like told me what it did,
I was like, why isn't Amy using this constantly?
I'm so sorry and gosh, I know.
Well, it's mostly just because you've had that
since level one or two.
Since like day one.
Yeah, cause I was like,
aha, it puts pretty life on them.
And you did that and you were like,
oh, it gives advantage, whatever.
But then you stopped using it
and then you forgot that you had it
or forgot what it did.
So that, I mean, it's just what happens.
If you don't use it, you forget what it does.
Use it or lose it.
Follow up, Amy, you should also reread
what the oath bow does cause it's real good.
We're gonna get there.
My big problem with everything that I have
is that requires rolling is that I roll really shitty.
But if you get advantage on everything.
That would make it much better.
Also something that happens an awful lot
and I think it's why I don't choose these spells
that build up or build on is that generally
if you listen to any of our fights,
I probably only get like one or two spells.
That's true.
And so if fairy fires one of my spells,
I'm not dealing damage.
I know I'm setting myself up and setting everyone else up.
Well, now I know that I'm setting everyone else up.
But like other things too, right?
Like in the middle of a fight,
I'm not gonna mask your wounds
unless we absolutely desperately need it
because to me it's like, well, I attribute it.
Like there's nothing, I gave nothing
to the winning of this fight right now.
There's different types of players and characters though.
There are tanks and support.
I know you'd like to be, you can be both.
I'm the Johnny Cash of tank and support.
Who's saying you can't cast fairy fire,
wild shape into a tanky bear or wolf or something.
That's got the weirdest visual.
And then deal advantage damage as your armored bear,
right, because you now have armor
when you turn into something.
I actually always had that.
No, you didn't.
Yeah, I did.
You could choose whether or not you drop your armor.
No, no, that just melted.
It just means I don't drop it.
I don't get that armor.
You as a bear or wolf now have armor,
like physical armor.
Very big snore from the puppy.
That was a big snore.
That was real good.
It's a little dog.
That's a pretty big snore.
Okay, well, I will, you know,
and it's just about me not being a selfish bitch.
You know what, I can't, I don't hit the hardest.
I don't fight the fightiest.
I'll just have to be my own special version of me
and hope that I'm helpful enough.
Well, you are.
You magic the magiciest.
Sometimes.
It's true.
You're fucking amazing.
A lot of it is how you RP it too, right?
Like, cause once you guys start fighting,
a lot of guys, you guys,
once you guys start fighting, yeah.
Bye bye.
Once you guys start fighting,
a lot of the time you stop RPing.
It's something that I've mentioned before,
but it's something that we should continue to build on
and work on is that RP within combat can still happen.
Like description, you're getting,
everybody's getting better at description
of attacks and battles,
but choosing to talk to an enemy
or to, you know, arrange.
Or to our friends.
Or arrange, you know,
how this attack is going to happen with your friends.
Holding an attack because you know,
Flint is gonna go hit that motherfucker super hard.
And when Flint hits it,
I wanna hit it right after
because I know it's gonna be stunned, right?
So there are different options that you can take
and that you can start to think of as a group,
as opposed to me hit hard, me cast spell,
me do this.
I'm learning so much.
They all affect each other, right?
Yeah, like if I'm gonna go take on some dragon,
and then at the end of my turn,
I let you know I'm gonna like dive out of the way
and you get that sun beam going.
It's all good.
Yeah.
Let's try to do more of that stuff.
Let's try to play better, you guys.
What do you think?
Oh my God, yes, we should definitely do that.
I love it.
I agree.
This sounds like a really good strategy.
So yeah, I promise I will use fairy fire.
It's so good.
I don't even know why.
Tom, you go ahead.
Okay, get ready
because it's gonna take a real long time.
Good, so ready.
I got a third attack.
So I'm just like one and a half times more deadly
than I was before.
Excellent.
And then I also got ability score improvements.
Yay, end of level ups.
Okay, did you want to do a feat there?
Is there anything that...
No, I'm gonna keep the ability score improvements
because it boosts my dexterity if I won.
So I get a two initiative instead of one,
which I like.
And I bumped my wisdom up a little bit
so I'm not quite as fucking tragically dumb.
Sure.
Okay, the only feat that I would recommend
if you were to take a feat would be the dual wielding.
So you have two weapons.
I mean, you usually have your shield, but...
But now you have that hammer too.
I haven't been using a shield for a long time.
I've been using a two-handed axe.
That's true.
You've just been carrying it on your back like Thea.
I thought it was just a style thing.
Yeah, I thought it was like our group dynamic.
Well, so hold on.
No, I keep the two-handed axe
because I have that great weapon fighting
or whatever it is where I get improved criticals.
Oh, no, I get that anyway.
Yeah, great weapon skill.
So yeah, if I get a one or a two on a damage roll,
I get to reroll, which is very handy in some situations.
So for your AC though,
have you been taking off your shield?
Because you still have an AC of like 18, right?
Well, technically my sheet for some reason
says 13 now, which is incorrect.
Yeah, that's not right.
But I am a, let's see here, I have armor training
and I'm wearing like a spiked splint mail,
which is like an AC of 18 right off the bat.
So that's where I get that big AC.
Right, right, right, right, right.
Oh, and I got 31 hit points in two levels.
I'm tough.
Wow, I thought mine were good.
I forget what it was now, like 19 or something,
which was very good.
Okay, yeah.
Yeah, I get, I'm Dwarven toughness,
so I get a bonus one every time.
I have the tough feat,
so I get an extra bonus two every time
and then my con modifier is four.
So I get a bonus seven on top of whatever I roll
every time.
Yeah, oh, that,
because that's one of my ability scores.
I put my con to 14, so I'd get a two bonus
because it was still a 13 and it was only a one.
So that's what I kept one of my,
and my dex I think is the other one I did.
Sorry, did anybody, when they did their ability scores,
did they bump their con?
Sorry, was that what you were saying?
That's what Carl was saying.
I bumped my con, so now I have a,
now it's 14, so I have a two bonus.
Okay, but did you, when your con went up,
so it went up from one to two, yes?
Yes.
So you now get, I get backtracks now.
So you get a plus one for every level
that you were before that.
Oh, it backloads?
I didn't know that.
So if it goes up one more,
at level 12, you get an extra 12 automatically.
What?
Right out of the gate.
Boom.
Add that on there, Carla.
Oh God, okay, so, okay, well I would have added one,
so I get an extra 11.
But it went up at level 12 though, right?
Oh yeah, yeah, so yeah, 11 levels, yeah.
So I took that one.
Yeah.
When I.
Yeah.
Oh damn.
Yeah, plus your con.
So it's 11?
Yeah.
Plus 11 for level 11?
Hold on, did you up your constitution modifier?
That's what I'm saying.
So did you put your ability score into constitution?
I haven't done an ability score yet.
Okay, so don't worry about that.
Because Carla upgraded her constitution modifier,
which buffs her con, which changes her hit points.
Okay, so I can just put 11 in here?
Yes.
But then I get to do it again.
Yes, for level 12.
How many HP do you have now, Tom?
177.
Fuck.
Damn, dude.
I have 90 hit points, you guys.
There you go.
You guys are all in triple damage.
Cause mine's 124 now, which is a lot.
I thought.
I'm almost, I'm closer to 200 than I am 250, so.
Oh my gosh.
Like I said, act three, there's lots of things, so.
And I mean, also I designed this character
to be purely the fighty, fighty, bashy tank guy.
So mission accomplished.
You min-maxed him, man.
Like you built them properly, yep.
Okay, I will decide on my spells as we mosey along here.
So we've leveled up our characters
from a level 11 to level 12.
We might not get to playing a game tonight.
I'm just gonna forewarn anybody, but we'll see.
Well, we are an hour into the recording, so.
So earlier when you said
you were gonna cut in the time,
just cut in some hysterical laughter.
Yeah.
It's gonna be good.
So now let's go over on our sheets
any abilities that you might've had since level one
that you haven't used.
Any magic items that just have kind of been sitting there.
A fairy fire.
Any spells that you're like,
I have this, but I don't know what it is.
Let's go over that now.
Let's go in the other order.
Tom goes first.
Tom first.
Okay.
Okay, yeah.
So I have some things that I've kind of forgotten
that I had, so this is real good
that we're going through all this.
And I need to rewrite like everything
on my character sheet.
Sure, yeah.
That's what I need to.
But in the meantime,
I will just read it straight from the book
because that's as good as it's gonna get for right now.
And if there's anything you need from me
because I gave it to you or something,
like just let me know.
I will find it.
Sure.
Yeah, so there's a couple real fun things
that I have that I haven't been using,
like my indomitable skill.
So basically I can reroll a saving throw that I fail,
which is awesome.
If I do choose to reroll,
I have to use whatever the result is.
But I mean, if I already failed it,
then what the fuck is the harm in trying again?
Yeah.
So that's awesome.
And at level 13,
I can actually do that twice before a long rest.
So one more level
and that bad boy is gonna get up there,
which is pretty freaking sweet.
Let's see here.
I've got a remarkable athlete as well
where I can add half of my proficiency bonuses
and round up any strength, dex, or con check that I make
that doesn't already use my proficiency bonus.
Now I don't really understand that one
because if I'm using my proficiency bonus,
but I haven't already used it,
like I don't, what is happening here?
Okay, 72 and it's remarkable athletes.
So you can add half your proficiency bonus round up
to any strength, dexterity, or constitution check
you make that doesn't already use your proficiency bonus.
So like, what does that mean?
Oh, here we go.
D and D Reddit, how does remarkable athlete works?
Oh, thanks Reddit.
I mean, other than
for being a complete cesspool of the internet,
but you know.
Sometimes helpful.
Sometimes funny and good stuff on there.
Yep, definitely sometimes funny.
So when you look at your sheet,
let me see here.
So I'm just gonna open your sheet here
just so I'm looking at the same thing.
I feel like my privacy has been violated.
So what they mean is,
do you not have any skill proficiencies?
Have you no skills, man?
No, I have like history and that's about it.
It's not checked though.
Oh, well it should be.
Okay.
There, it's checked.
Oh wait, I think I probably do have like.
That's what that means though.
So when you have acrobatics,
if you don't have proficiency in it,
you can choose to add half your proficiency modifier.
It's kind of like the jack of all trades for the bard.
Where if they don't have proficiency,
they can automatically add half their proficiency
to anything.
But yours is just.
I'm pretty sure I do.
Okay, I'm pretty sure I do have like athletics
and something else as well
that was on my original like paper sheet
that I just never checked the box for.
So when you built your character,
you should have picked two.
So acrobatics, animal handling, athletics, history,
insight, intimidation, perception, and survival.
You could have picked two from those.
I'll have to go to my paper sheet.
I'm sure it's on there.
But you should also get skills
from your soldier background as well.
So check that out.
Okay, I will check that out.
Just to make sure you're getting.
I'm gonna write that down right now.
Soldier background.
Okay, so that's what that is.
So anything that you don't already have proficiency in
that has the dex, con, or strength check.
And I'm like, make an acrobatics check.
And you're like, I don't have proficiency.
You get a bonus two because your proficiency is four.
So you just kind of have to remember that you have that.
Which is real good.
I'm good at remembering everything that I have.
Couldn't even finish the sentence.
I'll try and help too.
And now that we're kind of going through it
as a group,
that's why I wanted to go through it as a group
as well is Carla and Amy can now say,
hey, you've got that remarkable athlete thing.
Don't you?
Can you add a bonus to that?
Yeah.
Don't you know sports?
I do know sports, it's true.
Okay, yeah, all right, that's good.
Yeah, so there's a couple other things.
I have to remember my feet of heavy armor master
because any bludgeoning, piercing,
or slashing non-magic damage,
I get to reduce that by three.
Oh, there you go.
Oh, that's good.
I have to remember that bad boy
because I don't believe I have been remembering it.
How I would-
Russ, how can you help us remember things better
because that is where we really fall apart,
to be honest.
I was looking at my sheet and was like,
oh yeah, that's a thing.
Yeah, I think once I rewrite my sheet,
I will have a better,
because I had things like dark vision
and stone cunning and all these things
that don't make a fucking difference
at the top of my list
and things that are important at the bottom of my list.
And I'm like, oh, well, if I don't scroll down,
then I'm never gonna see them.
So I'm gonna redo everything
and put the important things at the top.
Yeah, I rewrote all of mine
because I didn't have it as like,
for some reason on my main character sheet,
I didn't have it compendium compatible
where it like gives it like a hand line.
Yeah, mine is like that too.
And because it's just easier to sort through.
So I did that.
How do I fix that?
Do I have to redo everything?
I mean, I would copy paste what changes
to like a word document
and then switch it to compendium compatible.
And then you can even just click and drag stuff
right into it.
You don't need to type everything out.
The other thing I might recommend
is just adding in the headline,
like what that specific thing helps you with.
So if it's combat,
then write combat in brackets beside it.
So that when you're in combat,
you're like, okay, well, what skills do I have
that might be able to help me?
And then you can just go through
and more quickly remember what you have.
Okay, some other things that I have,
I got that awesome feather fan.
It's bedazzled and has glass bobble.
Still don't know what it does.
What, you didn't write down?
Well, it was what, 8d8 healing spells or whatever,
but Russ seemed to not like that one.
So.
Well, no, I just, no, okay.
Oh, this was during the dragon, I remember now.
Okay, so what you said though,
is that within each bobble,
there is a 1d8 healing thing.
Yes, and there are eight bobbles.
So you, so, okay, so to clarify though,
how does Flint use those?
Well, he has to whip out his fan all fancy like
and remove a bobble from the center of one of the fan.
So do I just like crush it in my hand
or do I like smoke bomb it on the ground?
Like, what do I do?
Or just remove it and then the energy absorbs.
Like, how do you envision it playing out?
Like for RP?
You crush it in your hands.
Cause you're a super strong dude.
Crush it in my hand, okay.
So you take one damage for glass shattering in your hand.
No, you don't.
I'm wearing gloves, thank you very much.
When he crushes it, it's like,
I think somehow like sandstone.
Sure, yeah, okay, I get that.
It's very fine powders, like anthrax.
You actually end up breathing it in.
Excellent.
But unlike anthrax, this heals you.
It's like cocaine.
It's the healing version of anthrax.
Okay, I also have the rabbit's foot that Nularaaaa gave me.
So that's gonna be very handy.
I get like a 1d4 extra roll whenever I need it.
I'm assuming it's like once per long rest.
Once a day.
Yeah, once per long rest.
Yeah, let's treat that like the luck kind of thing.
So you pick a time when you're like,
before I say that passes or fails, you're like.
Yeah, like the bardic inspiration.
Yeah, I'm gonna call and just roll this
and then, you know, add the 1d4 or whatever it was.
Okay.
Okay, and I think that's pretty much the majority
of like my special things.
I mean, I have those potions
that we went over a couple episodes ago.
So I still have those all written down.
Okay, any magical items that you have
that you want to go over?
Yes, there is the throwing axe.
I need more details about that one.
Throwing axe?
That was a while ago.
Remember I got like a magical
returning throwing axe from the dragons?
Oh, no, that's the dwarven thrower.
That's a hammer.
Oh, the hammer.
That's your Mew Mew.
That's uh.
Your Mew.
Mew, Mew, Mew.
Mew, Mew, Mew, Mew.
Yeah, cause I hadn't made it
to the end of the episode yet,
but I was like, oh yeah, that throwing.
I thought it was an axe,
but I was like that throwing thing.
I need to know more about that
cause it was so long ago.
Yeah, so your dwarven thrower.
I will give you the details.
You also have a Rod of Lordly Might.
If you don't have that written down, you still.
Oh, yeah, no, I still have that one.
That's my ladder.
Yeah. Well, it's more than a ladder.
Oh, that's true.
So let's maybe go over that.
But I've only ever used it.
Yeah. It's kind of very handy as a ladder.
Yeah. So number of times go over that one again, just for this,
for the people, because it's got a lot of other.
So their dwarven thrower, first of all, is a weapon war hammer
requires attunement by a dwarf,
which attunement just means you have I just have to spend.
I just have to spend time with sit and talk to it and tell it.
It's so pretty.
And then look, it is so pretty, guys.
So you gain a plus three.
I have to polish my hammer, Amy.
No, you're Rod of Lordly Might.
We're talking about that.
OK, perfect. Sorry.
I wasn't paying attention.
So you gain a plus three bonus to attack and damage rolls
made with this magic weapon.
So when you roll to attack, you get a plus three.
And when you roll your damage, you get a plus three.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
It has the throne property with a normal range of 20 feet
and a long range of 60 feet.
So that's normally with your bow.
You have an inside and an outside number.
That's what that is. Yeah.
When you hit with a ranged attack, this weapon use deals
an extra one D8 damage or if the target is a giant to D8 damage
immediately after attack, the weapon flies back to your hand.
You don't need to call it. It just comes back to you.
Oh, damn. So when we were fighting those Edens,
that would have been really handy.
You didn't have it.
No, I know. But it would have been because I also speak giant
with my counterpart there.
And I forgot about that. So yeah.
I'm going to remember.
So but you're the actual
damage stuff, because that doesn't tell you what the actual damage is.
Is it is one D8 bludgeoning versatile one day 10.
So if you use it two handed, it's a one D10.
And then you get the extra one D8 if it's thrown plus three
plus your normal proficiency.
I would probably only ever use it as a throwing option
because my axe is way better than a damage watch.
So how you should write that, though, is one D8 or one D10
plus three plus eight.
So plus 11 in total.
Yeah. Plus three is magic is the magic bonus.
And then plus eight is your strength and proficiency bonus.
Because you should be proficient.
It doesn't actually say on your sheet, but you should be proficient with
all like all melee weapons and then ranged.
I will not rain.
I am. I'm pretty much a master of all of them.
OK. And then your rod of lordly might, which is not his penis.
Well, I mean, it could be it could also be.
I don't know. I mean, what a what a happy coincidence
if that's what Flint refers to.
Guys, look what I found.
It was meant to be mine.
And you recommended me taking the dual wielding.
Come on, Russ.
Ha ha ha.
So your rod of lordly might.
So you gain.
When did you get this?
You got this was this was your first.
This was your first gotcha pawn type thing, right?
Like, yeah.
So this rod has a flanged head and it functions as a magic mace.
Again, I mean, I'm reading it up here time after time.
And it functions as a magic mace
that grants a plus three bonus to attack and damage roles made with it.
So it in and of itself has damage, which I will give you.
Yeah, because I was using this as a mace, like a warhammer style thing.
And then we got that like awesome ax from that dude.
We jumped on the highway.
Yep. And it was a much better weapon.
So I've just been using that.
So do you have the mace damage with it still or do you need that?
I could just use everything you got.
OK, so the mace is one d six bludgeoning plus three plus eight.
And a plus three.
I also have a dungeon master guide, so I can look at this.
I know where it is.
That's OK. We should still go through it, though, just so everybody knows.
And that's that's what we're doing this episode. So
so the rod.
I just don't want everybody to be disappointed by my rod.
Ah,
ah, ha, ha.
Lordly might know that, yeah.
Anyways, the rod has properties associated with six different buttons
that are set in a row along the haft.
It has three other properties as well detailed below.
So the six buttons, you can press one of these six buttons
and a different effect happens and last until you push a different button
or until you push the same button again, say button again, button again.
If you press button one,
The rod becomes a flame tongue, which we already have, but it becomes a flame tongue and has
a fiery blade that sprouts from the end opposite the rod's flanged head.
Button two, the rod's flanged head folds down and two crescent shaped blades spring
out transforming the rod into a magic battle axe that grants plus three to attack and
damage rolls made with it.
Because yeah, I was using it as the axe when I was using it.
If you press button three, the rod's flanged head folds down, a spear point springs from
the rod's tip and the rod's handle lengthens into a six foot haft, transforming the
rod into a magic spear that grants a plus three to attack and damage rolls made with
it.
If he swings it really hard, does it cover whoever's in front of him with like a...
That's button five.
So button four.
Button four is what you've been using this magic item as.
It turns into a 50 foot ladder.
Yeah it does.
A climbing pole, sorry.
Of course, because it had to sound more phallic.
Hey baby, check out my climbing pole.
Climbing pole up to 50 feet long, as you specify.
That one's very intimidating.
It does.
I don't know what to do with that.
Never mind.
That is too much for me, thank you.
You are not going to find a girl like that, huh?
It's a big commitment.
So hold on, can I now talk about my boobs of godly waza?
Yeah.
Because I feel like we've been talking about Flint's dick forever.
It's been a very extended segment.
Let's just get through these buttons because this is where the fun stuff happens.
If you press button five, the rod transforms into a handheld battering ram and grants
its user a plus 10 to strength checks made to break through doors, barricades, and
other barriers.
I feel like that could have come in handy at some point.
I can't recall exactly when, but...
Don't make that face at us, Russ.
If you press button six, the rod assumes or remains in its normal form and indicates magnetic
north.
Nothing happens in this function.
The rod also gives you the knowledge of your approximate depth beneath ground or height
above it.
So it acts as a compass and a...
Barometer?
Barometer.
Well, maybe not a barometer.
That's not a barometer.
No.
Okay.
Sorry.
Now it has...
There's still two more options.
That's all the buttons you have, but now you have three other properties.
So when you hit with this...
So you have Drain Life, Paralyze, or Terrify.
I don't think you've ever used any of those.
Never.
I don't think this is ever a thing I saw before.
So Drain Life, when you hit a creature with a melee attack using the rod, you
can force the target to make a DC 17 con saving throw.
On a failure, the target takes an extra...
That's a hard save.
Yeah.
This is a fucking rare, legendary, magical item that I gave you.
Listeners, I'm going to peel back the curtain for a second.
When Russ gave me this item, he had printed it out on little pieces of paper and given
me them.
And I don't think he ever gave me this part of it, to be honest with you.
I feel like I did, but I don't know.
It also was like literally years ago.
Yeah.
It's like three years ago at this point.
I just looked at the flame tongue stuff that's still in my book and it was like,
it was printed out, which means it was before Russ and Amy moved to Korea.
It was like three years ago.
And you didn't hold on to those little pieces of paper, Tom?
It's not so bad.
We don't remember.
Okay.
So let's get through this here.
Because this is like, if you hit with this.
Okay.
So on a failure, the target takes an extra 46 necrotic damage, 4d6, not 46.
And you regain a number of hit points equal to half that necrotic damage.
What?
See, like if I knew this was going on, I would have been using this the whole
time.
Wow.
This is a good one.
This property can't be used again until next dawn.
So you use it once, but you can regain, you know, up to 12 damage if you roll max on
everything.
Right.
Or you can.
Sure.
If things are desperate, then.
Which they are.
Paralyze.
Constantly.
When you hit a creature with a melee attack using this rod, you can force that target
to make a DC 17 strength saving throw.
On a failure, the target is paralyzed for one minute.
The target can repeat the saving throw at the end of each of its turns, ending
the effect on success.
And again, that property can't be used until next dawn.
He is paralyzed.
Question for you, Russ.
Yeah.
I was going to say if I were to use this and land the paralyzing blow, could you
play paralyzer by finger 11?
As I just started to sing it.
Yeah.
We're on the same wavelength, you and I, Tom.
I'll message them.
Finger 11.
What if we got their permission?
They're nerds, man.
A couple of them play, like, World of Warcraft and stuff, so.
So it's possible.
That you're on messaging them and getting them on the show.
Great. OK.
Or just or just saying, yes, you can use the song paralyzer.
No, get them on the show.
OK. Yeah.
Shoot high. Shoot high.
All right. Yeah.
OK. Last one.
Terrified. Final option.
While holding the rod, you can use and while holding the rod,
you can use an action to force each creature you can see within 30 feet of you
to make a DC 17 wisdom saving throw.
On a failure, a target is frightened of you for one minute.
They can repeat that at the end, but that means they can't move towards you.
Like, that's when the dragon uses its frightful presence.
Yeah. They can't move towards you.
They can't attack you.
They can't until they say from that they can't go near you.
Yeah, I'm going to I'm going to have to bust this weapon out again, guys.
I think we also, like, forget to, like, swap between weapons.
Yeah. You have your defaults at this point, right?
You kind of get focused on the one you're using.
The axe you have does a shit ton of damage.
But like this one, but nothing special.
This one, you know, if you're looking to get a little life back
or makes, you know, put the guy down, but not you can just tell me
if you're not wanting to kill him.
But, you know, what? Yeah.
But yeah, like there's an extra there's huge bonus to using this weapon
as opposed to the ones you have aside from.
Well, I know that I have like a third attack.
Any damage offset that I would lose
from using my giant bastard axe all of a sudden isn't so bad.
OK. Anything else you got on your sheet that you need?
Um, no, I think that's pretty much everything.
We just double check here real quick.
Flipping pages, flipping pages.
Oh, I'm sometimes taken over by a dragon man, but we already knew that.
All right. Onward number.
Yeah. Well, that every once in a while, narratively,
we'll be delving into that more coming up.
Oh, and I also have a note here that says free stew at beefy stews.
So you just got to find where stew left to.
And you've got that stew on lock, man. Excellent.
So if we're going in reverse, are you ready or do you want Carla to go first?
I'm ready. OK.
But Carla hasn't spoken in a long time, so Carla wants to go.
That's OK. No, you go ahead.
Yeah, I've got less.
I'm excited to find out what you've got now.
It's like a whole new game.
So let's go through.
Like I said, let's go through your abilities, your magic stuff
and some spells that you probably haven't used in a while. OK.
My abilities, like my proficiency,
more like your your class and racial stuff that might help you.
Like his remarkable athlete thing and dark vision.
Naturally, my fe ancestry,
which gives me saving throws against being charmed.
And and magic can't put you to sleep.
OK, so does this mean that I should have had?
Jesus, is Tom OK?
I think Tom finished talking.
He's going to go get a drink now.
Yeah, I wonder if he probably had to pee.
He's been waiting this whole time.
If those Pomplamoose beers are cold enough for him.
OK, so does this mean like when a dragon?
Yeah, once too.
I dropped a bunch of paper.
A feared on me.
Is that is that them trying to charm me?
And do I have a fucking advantage against that?
Fear, charm and frightened are different things.
So charmed, a charmed creature can't attack the charmer.
So this is like if somebody comes up to you and you are under my spell
and you will do as I say, that type of thing. OK. Frightened.
They have disadvantage on ability checks and attack roles
while the source of fear is within its sight.
So whether they're attacking, there's no saving.
Yes, there is.
Well, there's a saving thrill against it.
There's a DC.
OK. Yeah. All right.
So the answer is no.
So I can't be charmed.
No one is charming to me.
A trance.
I could meditate for four hours instead of sleeping.
Yeah, you've used that yet.
Researcher, my background.
I know where to find information.
I'm immune to poison and disease.
Oh, I can't be frightened.
There you go.
So that is something by elementals or face.
OK, elementals or face, but dragons.
Yes. Yeah, I guess so.
So but poison and disease.
Yeah, we found that out the hard way.
You shouldn't have taken any poison damage off of anything
that happened in that cave.
I know. Yeah.
Well, we figured that out after.
Yeah. And I'm also resistant poison,
so I should have been having my damage.
So your Laura, you still died.
OK. Yeah, sorry.
I have just a weak little human, but we love you.
We keep you around like a pet.
Sure. It's a true story.
We know you're going to go before us
and it's going to be sad, but then we'll get a new human
after a while.
We'll get a new human.
After enough time has passed.
We'll find a new level one.
Ultimate lesson in sadness.
OK, I have a ring of spell storing.
It currently holds third level healing word,
first level guiding bolt and first level searing smite.
So you've had those since the first gacha pawn.
Yeah, I can also put two spells in there.
No, no.
So that holds up to five levels of spells.
Oh, third level, first level, first level, five levels.
Yeah, if you cast a fifth level spell in there,
it can only hold that.
Gotcha. Yeah.
All right. Also, I'm lucky.
But you also have to use those before you can put anything in.
Yar. Yeah.
OK, so I'm. Yar.
Yar. Pirating.
You're lucky. I'm super lucky.
I have the inexplicable luck
and I have three luck points that I can use.
Whenever I make an attack roll, an ability check or a saving throw,
I can, which I did use this when we were with the dragon,
I can spend a luck point to roll an additional d20.
So this is sorry.
This isn't a druid or race thing.
This is a feat that you picked up when I said, hey, guys, go
pick a couple of feats. This is one of those feats.
Yeah. I can also spend a luck point
when an attack roll is made against me.
I can roll a d20 and then choose whether the attack uses my roll
or their roll.
If more than one creature spends a luck point to influence an outcome,
that doesn't really matter.
I get those back after a long rest.
And then I also have magic initiate, which is another feat,
which means I got extra spells to use.
And you picked warlock spells.
I did pick warlock spells because they were badass.
I got two cantrips and one first level spell.
OK, but I can only ever use them once in that spell slot.
I can't use them at higher levels and I get it back after.
A long rest.
OK, so that's your abilities.
Magic items. OK.
Well, I have a potion I have passed without a trace still.
For three years.
But we haven't needed it because you can cast that spell, Carla.
OK, so as we're going through magic items, though,
look at what you have, look at what you need and look at what you can
use as like a sell point in a game.
Like you can go into a store and say, hey, I've got these potions.
You want to buy them?
And then you get or I want that on the shelf right there.
Let's trade these. Yeah.
OK, so I have a pass without a trace, trace, trace.
I also have 16 healing kits,
which we can't ever seem to remember what a healing kit does.
Yeah, you don't need 16. Stabilizes you if you're dying.
Cool. You don't need 16.
But yeah, yeah.
Well, it was fantasy Costco.
There's a deal.
I have zero dragon arrows right now, apparently.
I have 20 precious stones, which I assume I'm using for my spells.
Haven't really never really got into that.
Yeah, you you picked up precious stones in like a hoard somewhere.
So they can be sold for money.
Old hoard house. Right.
They can be traded for gold or used as money.
I got to update this.
I no longer have a bag of holding.
OK, so that said, what was in your bag of holding?
Oh, fuck.
My precious stones were in my goddamn bag of holding, motherfucker.
So you no longer have 20 precious stones.
Was your hip still enter in your bag of holding?
Yeah, yeah.
That was a real word you just said.
Hibsor, Hitler.
Yeah, I remember those funny fade.
I just heard it. Yeah, yeah.
I just heard it as like one word and I was like, I don't know what that is.
So, Antler, the old Hibsor, Antler.
OK, hold on.
Zetterzi. Because in in in game and in the episode,
you just handed her the bag.
So what I'm going to go back now, I can't take that back.
What I'm going to tell you, though, is just maybe put them
on a different part of your sheet.
And if you ever come across that character again,
if there's anything you want back, then you might have to barter for it.
Right. Like, OK, remember the bag of holding I gave you?
And I also had a whole bunch of stuff in it.
That was really cool.
But maybe you don't need like that weird antler.
So where were those 16 healing kits?
I probably had a lot of them in the bag of holding,
but I also had some on my I've got like my little utility belt.
So I'm not I'm not your cargo shorts.
I'm not trying to dump your character right now, but I'm just trying to care.
No, it's like, you know, I probably had I probably had five on my person.
OK. And the rest, I mean, who carries 16 healing kits in their pockets?
Let's be really honest when you have a bag of holding.
Exactly. You put every when you have a bag of holding,
you put everything in the bag of holding.
Yeah. If you don't.
Although I'm going to say you left your oath boat on the train.
Oh, my boat is always slung.
OK, good cross. Yeah.
Along with your shield, that was totally just her decoration for the longest time.
I have three uncommon healing potions.
Those were with me.
Shield, hide armor.
I had my boots of levitation on,
you know, which are bad ass hover boots.
They're my hover boots.
I have a yellow prank potion.
Oh, yeah.
Which Addison was very pleased with herself today when I told her, I'm like,
remember that potion that you helped dad make?
And she was like, which one?
And I was like, the one that turns people banana yellow.
And she's like, yeah, I was like, yeah, you turned me banana yellow.
She goes, I got you.
I'm going to make a green one now.
She came up to me, she's like, Dad, do you need any more potions?
I was like, not today, kid.
She also told me she wanted to make a potion that when someone drank it,
it covered them head to toe in slime for one million years.
Yeah, she did. Yeah.
I didn't put that one in there. Wow.
I was like, you're brutal.
Yeah, it's funny that she remembered that because she did come up with that one.
I have. An amulet
that I just recently got and obviously was wearing,
and that gives me that's.
That's the that's the barding for your wild shape.
And I have my so armor.
When you turn into the wolf, you now have plus three AC as soon as you change.
So you're not like a lab in here.
And I have my garter of holding. Right.
Right. Yeah, that's your bank.
My bank account. Yep. Yep.
OK, so that's that. OK.
And I did choose my new spells here.
Did you want to go over your oath bow?
Because that also is a magic. There it is.
OK, here we go. Here we go.
Oh, I also have my Jade serpentine serpentine owl.
She was on you.
Yes, she's always on me.
She's always in a little pocket that I have, like close to my heart.
She's I wouldn't just throw her in an endless bag of holding.
What a terrible.
Be like, I need to get my out.
Can you go? Hold on a second.
And I'm like rummaging through like what a room, a room full of stuff.
You just say you just say what you want.
You reach in and it's.
Yeah, but where is she floating when she's in there?
So I have a bunch of gold, silver and copper, but that got put into the.
The multiple fanny packs of holding that we have amulets dragon.
So that you picked up like the first cave you went into,
you picked up like a cult of the dragon amulet.
And that's what that is.
Is like a it has an insignia on it and it is like my pocket.
I thought I think maybe that's like one of those things
where that might come in handy later.
I don't know.
You've secretly been wearing it the whole time,
because you're a member of the cult of the dragon.
I'll never tell.
I also have a 200 gold to share.
I think at some point we got we got a bunch of gold
and instead of divvying it out, I kind of just stopped writing down money.
Yeah, I stopped writing down money, too.
Oh, I also have oak bark from my lovely gift from new Laura
that I have oak bark dash bark skin to 17.
You cast once a day bark skin and it's on page two seven.
Oh, it's on page two 17.
Oh, yeah.
And you should have three nutshells for me as well.
Yeah, three acorn shells that that make confusion.
Yeah, which is on 224.
Acorns of confusion.
Yeah. OK.
Sounds like a good band name.
And I also have a charm bracelet with a moon charm that means
I can reroll wisdom saves.
Where did you get that from?
Charm bracelet with a moon charm.
Oh, right, right, right, right.
The guy with the thumbs up.
I wasn't looking over there.
I was looking. I was like, where did that come from?
He gave me the prettiest thing.
Yeah. So it's made out of Solarian true steel.
Solarian, which I don't think I've ever used,
but I don't think I've had many.
I don't think we've had a lot of with saves.
Yeah, you went through a lot of wisdom saves in like in the.
But I did well.
But then because I have a wisdom modifier for. Yeah.
Oh, and no of eight.
I have a bonus of eight.
My wisdom's balling already, but that gives me extra
in case, you know, I'm having a bad day.
Do you still want your oathbow stuff?
Yeah. Where is my fucking oathbow stuff?
I don't know. You have oathbow under your weapons, but.
Yeah, you should reread it because it is real good, too.
So here we go.
Disadvantage if sworn foe is alive.
Swift defeat to my enemies.
I have to say that before I use it.
I wish it was something super awesome like movie
Caliente or whatever, but that's fine.
Oh, I wrote swift deaths to you who have.
And then they're just so broke and depressed.
But you know why it says that this I went for so quick.
This was the time when I was
using the iPad mostly, and we had to voice.
Oh, yeah, that was a nightmare on Roll20 with the iPad.
I had to voice everything.
So I didn't type it.
I was just doing voice to text recognition and it did its best.
OK, so so hold on.
Choose one enemy.
I get plus two advantage to attack.
That's all it has in here.
I know there's a lot more to it.
So, yeah, OK, I'm going to read it from the top to the bottom
because that's not even entirely correct.
So when you knock an arrow on this bow, it whispers in elvish.
Swift defeat to my enemies.
Oh, I don't have to say it.
It speaks to you when you use this weapon to make a ranged attack.
You can, as a command phrase, say swift death to you who have wronged me.
The target of your attack becomes your sworn enemy
until it dies or until dawn seven days later.
You can have only one such sworn enemy at a time.
When your sworn enemy dies, you can choose a new one after the next dawn.
When you make a ranged attack roll with this weapon against your sworn enemy,
you have advantage on the roll.
In addition, your target gains no benefit from cover
other than total cover, and you suffer no disadvantage due to long range.
So it doesn't matter how far away they are.
It goes.
So this thing is run away.
I can't even see it anymore.
I can whisper it to this arrow.
Swift death to as long as there's no way you would have had to whisper it to it
before. But so if the attack hits, your sworn enemy takes an extra 3D six
damage. And while your sworn enemy lives, you have a disadvantage
on attack rolls with all other weapons.
So as soon as you swear this weapon,
this is the weapon you have to use until you kill that thing.
OK. Now, what if do I have disadvantage on all other things
while fighting this thing or just in my life in general?
While your sworn enemy lives.
So until dawn seven days later, if it still lives,
you have disadvantage on attack rolls with all other weapons.
OK, so if I'm fighting even something different.
So if you're using like a quarter staff, meh.
Yeah. Even if I'm not fighting it.
Yes. Shit.
So it doesn't matter if you mostly use.
Yeah, I was going to say you're mostly using magical attacks.
Like, oh, it's not such a big deal.
Doesn't really matter.
But essentially, RP wise, it's driving you.
You've now declared this as your enemy.
That is the be all and end all to kill.
And the oath bow recognizes that and says, if you don't use me,
you're going to have a tough time trying to kill anything else
with any other weapon until we take down that bad guy. Right.
OK, what's next? Very neat.
I will use it more. My spells.
OK, just just go through the ones that you haven't really used.
Everybody knows that you have blight and that you have
a cantrip guidance I never use.
I can touch a willing creature.
And once before the spell ends, the target can roll a D4
and add the number roll to the ability check of its choice.
It can roll the die before or after making the ability check.
The spell then ends.
It gives somebody a buff. Yeah. Yeah.
So if someone was trying to do something very particular,
you could help them out with that.
I also have guiding bolt, which I never use, but I should
because a flash of light streaks towards a creature of your choice within range.
OK, here's the question.
When they say when it says make a ranged spell attack,
I got to roll for that shit, don't I? Yeah.
OK, that's what I thought.
There's a reason why I don't use some of these spells,
ladies and gentlemen, because I can't roll with shit.
The range spell attack would be like you're making a bow attack.
Yeah. But on a hit, the target takes four D6 radiant damage.
This is a cantrip that I can use all the time.
And the next attack roll made against this target
before the end of your next turn has advantage.
So if I go and I hit it with this,
then Carla goes, she gets advantage and then Tom goes
and he gets advantage.
It's just the no on the next turn, just the next one.
I think on the next attack roll.
So the very next attack roll.
So only one person gets to get advantage. Yeah.
Thanks to the mythical dim light gathered by the target until then.
So it's just you can see it a lot better.
So you can hit a lot better.
I also have a couple of new ones which I haven't used.
Eldritch Blast, which is the crackly energy
and the target takes one D10 force damage.
You use that in the against Kuf and stuff.
Oh, did I? Yeah. Oh, yeah.
And Toll the Dead. Yeah. OK.
Fairy fire. We know.
And I used it in Carla's bonus episode.
I know that I've heard that recently.
I don't think I used.
This is new, but the arms of Hadar from your wizard stuff.
Yeah. So warlock warlock.
Tendrils of dark energy erupt from me
and batter all creatures within 10 feet of me.
I imagine that to be kind of like Raven from
from Teen Titans. Yeah.
Essentially, yeah.
Uh, OK, I got to say one thing before we go.
So I was watching Deadpool two the other day.
And the first trailer was like super duper grisly,
like fucking brutal stuff.
The second trailer was Teen Titans go to the movies.
And the third trailer was the new Purge movie.
That's awesome. So I was like, this is a very wide range of.
They know their demographic right within it.
Oh, boy. Yep.
So anyway, my Raven like tendrils make
2D6 necrotic damage
and it can't take any reactions.
Um, my levitate boots, you know, I can.
Um, it's only me and I can go up to 20 feet
and stay suspended for the duration.
It lasts up to 10 minutes.
Um, yeah.
And it can be up to 500 pounds, so I guess I could carry someone.
I'd probably have to make a strength check that I would probably fail
miserably.
You got to be able to carry it.
Just don't use the rainbow dice.
You'll be fine.
God, there's rainbow dice.
OK, so I added a new one on.
This is a brand new one.
I took off something else and added a new one here.
Flame blade, because obviously I have a Nulara compLex.
Everybody's got to be just like her because she's so cool.
The flame blade bandits.
But mine isn't an actual blade.
So I evoke a fiery blade in my free hand.
So it's about the size and shape of a scimitar.
And if I let go of it, it disappears.
But I can evoke it again as a bonus action.
So it never really disappears, I guess.
And yeah, it's a it's a melee spell attack and they take 3D six fire damage.
So I have a fiery thing that doesn't deal as much damage,
but a little probably buffs at higher levels, too, right?
In 3D six.
No, it doesn't.
You cast at higher levels, right?
Yes.
Fourth level or higher and increases by one D six
for every two slots above second level. Right.
So yeah, 3D six is still pretty good.
Yeah, it is pretty good for a second level.
Spell spell. Yeah.
Um, I decided to remove a third level spell because they're all absolute shit.
And then they are.
No, I'm sorry about Wizards of the Coast.
Yeah, I really did not.
Just kidding. We love you.
Don't throw them in town.
Who are we calling out today?
Now, I haven't looked in Xanathar's guide because for some reason,
D20 doesn't feel necessary to update it.
You have to pay for it.
Oh, I'm paying for shit.
Anyway, I will look and if I do find one, I will remove something else
because I have the right amount of spells.
I just move them in different areas.
So I just removed one.
So now I have an extra spell slot that I can just.
It's not that you have an extra spell slot.
I put a different one into a different level.
So I added stone skin to a level four.
So it turns a willing creature as hard as stone.
Interdict joke here until the spell ends.
The target has really a theme so far as that has resistance
and non-magical bludgeoning, piercing and slashing.
So it's kind of like bark skin.
I guess, but even stronger, because it's stone.
And then I also added to my fourth level.
Oh, yeah, because I ice storm, which, you know, in a 20 foot radius,
40 foot high cylinder, there's like a rock hard ice pounds to the ground.
And each creature takes 2D8 bludgeoning damage and 4D6 cold damage.
On an unsuccessful save, so it's pretty good.
Um, and then I also took out Geyas, Gesh,
because everything I wanted to control, I couldn't.
And that was frustrating me.
And that meant I had a fifth level spell slot that wasn't doing shit.
So I took that off.
I would have kept it because you know, there, you're going to walk
across somebody who is pissing you off, but they're like a low level
thing and you can just tell them to go fuck off or just follow them.
Follow you around and dance for the rest of their life.
Instead of that, because that'd be super weird.
I don't think Thea wants anyone around her that much.
You could cover them in slime for a million years.
I decided to choose Contagion.
This is super cool.
So my touch inflicts disease.
So I make a melee spell attack against a creature.
And when I hit them, they get one of these wonderful diseases.
It could be blinding sickness.
Pain grips a creature's mind, its eyes turn milky white.
It has disadvantage on wisdom checks, wisdom saving throw and are blinded.
A filth fever, which sounds disgusting.
A raging fever sweeps through the creature's body.
It has disadvantage on strength
checks, saving throws and attack rolls that use strength.
Flesh rot.
Sounds like something a doctor would have like
diagnosed in like the 1800s.
He's got the filth fever.
The flesh rot, which comes shortly after the filth fever, I'm sure.
The creature's flesh decays.
It has disadvantage, disadvantage on charisma checks
because no one's charming when their skin's falling off.
It has disadvantage on living and is vulnerable to all damage.
So it's it just has disadvantage on everything.
I guess it's vulnerable, which means it takes double.
It just takes double damage.
That's fantastic.
Or mind fire.
The creature's mind becomes feverish.
They have disadvantage on intelligence checks, saving throws,
and the creature behaves as if it's under the effects of confusion spell
during the combat, or I can make it have a seizure.
It's overcome with shaking.
It has disadvantage on dexterity checks and saving throws
and attacks that use dexterity or slimy doom.
The creature begins to bleed uncontrollably.
It has disadvantage on constitution and saving throws.
And whenever the creature takes damage,
it is stunned until the end of its next turn.
It's pretty dark.
A slimy doom just sounds kind of cool.
It does. All of those sound good.
Yeah. But the flesh rot double, double damage.
That's awesome. So that's that's pretty cool.
That's pretty cool.
And then, yeah, you took heal and sunbeam that we discussed.
So some of these, I have too many in that particular level.
So like, you know, I have to pick and choose,
depending on the situation.
So just so what what you're saying when you say too many
is that you have more spells and you have spell slots
and you were treating it as I should have one spell per spell slot,
which is not the case. You don't need that.
I got confused.
You as a druid need to are allowed to know X number of spells,
which is your druid level plus so many spells.
But yeah, you have spell slots that scale up as you level up.
So you can know 12 six level spells at this point,
but you can only use one. Right.
So you have to choose where you want to put them
and where they're most effective.
Am I allowed to have 12 altogether? Is that my number?
No, it's it's your druid level plus your wisdom modifier.
So 12 plus whatever that should be like 16.
No, that's your attack. Go back to your core.
Oh, so it should be 16 because 12 plus eight wisdom.
No, your wisdom modifier is not eight. Oh, four.
So you're going to have 60 for 16.
I'm just 20, 32, 97.
I don't know. I think you'd need like what?
Like a possible five is the highest you can get a 26 wisdom
in order to get a plus eight.
Oh, I'm counting everything, but some of these don't count
because they're my fucking. Yeah.
All right. Anyway, that's it for me.
And it took a long time, Carl.
I'm sorry. We shouldn't have started.
That's all right.
Because it had already had it about my rod for way longer.
So that was the main thing.
So me, like my two main magical items
that like never come up because we've had them since we started.
Yeah. Are the gauntlets of ogre power, which makes my strength 19.
And I'm honestly surprised no one has asked why I am so strong
because I am just a human ranger.
And maybe we mentioned it in early episodes.
I honestly can't remember.
But I had those from when we were still playing at the table.
Like, so from before we even started.
So, yeah, I have those gauntlets of ogre power, which give me
they're just like gauntlets that I wear that give me a strength of 19.
And flame tongue.
Which is my main weapon that I always use,
so I probably don't need to explain that all that much
because it just has been a part of the thing for the whole thing.
Other things I have.
Well, I've just got some like some some dope new shit just recently,
which would be like that animated shield.
Sorry, before we move on, do you do you know?
Say you were to.
I'm not I'm not saying every time I say something,
it makes me sound like I'm going to take something away.
But say the gauntlets of ogre power.
Do you know what your base strength is?
If you take them off, how strong are you?
You know, let me look on my paper sheet.
I think I probably do, because it's probably still on my old one.
Like, I wouldn't have transferred it.
But yeah, I do.
It was an amazing 12.
So that's just something to know about it, which is fine.
It's just of course, I haven't updated it like in years
because I have those gauntlets, right?
But yeah, I do have it written down just in case like
because that fuels into your attack bonuses and that fuels into like everything.
So if those disappear for whatever reason,
then we have to know what it goes back to for a lot of things.
For whatever reason, for example, we're just talking about mechanics
and what happens, right?
It's a good question.
Yeah, yeah, I do have it.
So it's on my my old actual paper sheet.
Yeah, I got that shield, which I like just got.
I have my banana orb.
Banana yellow.
I have an alchemist ring,
which gives me an extra D6 when I have a healing potion.
I have I have this under.
Well, it is a spell, but it's kind of not a spell.
But I have that
boomerang arrow, which was not one of my like spell slot spells,
but I can cast it and then my arrows.
Let me see if it's I think it is all of them.
Yeah, if they miss, they come back.
Yeah, yeah, they come they come back to me.
Spells are all just the ones I've always had,
except my one new one is actually pretty good.
It's conjure barrage,
which is a pretty good one, especially because most of my spells,
like I'm not particularly magical, so they're not amazing.
But this one is pretty good.
If I throw a non magical weapon or fire,
non magical ammunition, so like an arrow or whatever,
or even probably a rock with my sleigh, a spear.
Each creature in a 60 foot cone has to succeed on a deck save,
and they take three D8 damage on a failed save.
Nice. Sorry, I am.
Yeah, so it's it's it's a pretty good one
when we're in combat, especially because sometimes we do end up
being in like a ranged fight attack.
And then it's like, oh, I'm kind of useless.
So it's good. It's good that I that's why I took that one,
just because I'm obviously better up close with
with flametongue.
I also got Dragon Slayer.
Again, this was just very recently that that happened.
But that is my pretty badass sword.
I mean, I will still mostly use flametongue,
except against a dragon,
because it gives me a shitload of extra damage against dragons,
particularly like three extra D6
plus the two D10 that it normally gives.
Is that right?
Yeah. Oh, two D10 plus.
That's actually better.
You might want to use that. I was just going to.
Well, I don't get as good of an attack bonus on it, though.
But anyway, but against a dragon,
that's a fuckload of damage.
Damn. Against a dragon,
I'd have two D10 plus two plus three D6 plus four,
because they're my greater favorite enemy.
Jesus. Damn, Carla.
In hindsight, we could have kicked this dragon's ass.
Well, I didn't have that yet. I just got it.
I just got it.
That was like we found that dragon.
You beat the boss battle and then you find all the cool stuff to beat the boss.
Yeah. Or you don't beat the boss battle, but somehow.
So and a bunch of my other stuff I already talked about,
like my feats I'll touch on just like briefly.
One of the ones I picked is alert.
So that was what gave me a plus five to my initiative,
which is why I have an eight initiative.
I can't be surprised and enemies can't hide from me.
And then I also have durable,
which upped my con by one and gives me
a minimum hit die increase of four.
So I can't go lower than that.
I think a lot of this other stuff I already talked about
when I was kind of talking about my other stuff.
Yeah, just. Yeah.
And uncommon healing kits,
blah, blah, special healing potion that we got just now.
Magical. No. Oh, God.
What? What just happened?
I I don't know what you said.
That just made me. Magical healing potion. No.
Um, OK, you figure that out.
I got rings from the dragon. Fuck.
Oh, yeah. From.
Yeah, don't forget the stuff from the dragon that you got from the Dragon Council.
Right. Because we played that a while ago.
I think the only thing I got is throwing an axe.
Nularaaaa got some armor and Thea got the rings of.
I have all the details here. I can give them to you.
Sorry. Just going back, because we didn't touch on the Carla.
Just didn't touch on the belt.
Sorry. I'm just trying to get this.
Dwarven kind, I get you.
I've Dwarven kind because we didn't touch on that for Flint.
Oh, yeah. Which you have.
But I've been wearing nonstop because it gives me plus two to con.
Yes. So the one thing.
And if I shave my beard off, it will give me a glorious beard.
Yeah. Nice. Right.
The one thing about that,
because you guys often run into the issue of you're like, well, I can see,
I can see Nularaaaa can't see the belt of Dwarven kind gives you dark vision.
Oh, she could wear your belt.
So if you were to give Nularaaaa,
I think you would lose all the con bonus.
You would lose all the bonuses while you're not wearing it, obviously.
But if it's going into like a like a deep, dark under dark
cavern or whatever, and you need Nularaaaa to see
without having flame tongue or a banana orb or something
to draw attention to you.
That is an option to just wear the belt.
And then she has dark vision and then, you know, resistance
to poison and damage and all that, which you're growing ability. Yeah. Yeah.
Sorry. Go ahead.
No, that's good.
I it's actually I'm glad you remind me of the Dragon Council stuff
because I had written it down.
But obviously, I didn't I don't actually have it until now.
But I didn't have it like, was there a name or anything?
So what happened was I got a patch that I can.
So what she that turns into armor.
So what she did is she she, you know, she RPed it like she does.
Way to go, Victoria.
Yeah, she tore off a piece of her clothing or something,
and it turned into plate armor of lightning resistance.
And then you dragged it away like clanging and so
you have resistance to lightning damage while you wear this armor.
But what we can do is
because that's not let's let's retcon what that is,
because that's not as not as big as some of the other things that
because what I wrote down is that it is to resist chromatic dragons.
I don't know what that means.
It was specifically it was specifically lightning damage.
But we're going to say that it's
it's armor of invulnerability.
OK, so you is that can you just send me a pic of that?
I mean, please explain it now for listeners.
But yes, I will explain it.
But yes, I will send it to you.
So you have resistance to nonmagical damage while you wear this armor.
So any any nonmagical damage, you have resistance
and you take half damage if you take any damage.
Additionally, you can use an action to make yourself immune
to nonmagical damage for 10 minutes
or until you no longer wearing the armor.
Once the special action is used, it can't be used again until next dawn.
So you have to.
So while you're wearing it, you have resistance.
So you take half damage if you get hit.
And then once once a day,
you can say, I want to be immune to slashing damage.
And any time slashing damage hits you, you take zero damage.
OK, so you just have to pick real good
what kind of damage you want to do.
Yeah, you don't pick it right out of the gate.
Obviously, you wait till you get hit a couple of times.
See what they're doing.
First thing when you wake up, you're like, oh, bludgeoning today.
It's like a bludgeoning kind of day.
That said, it's only 10 minutes, right?
So you pick it mid partway through a battle and you're like,
OK, for the rest of this battle, this guy isn't going to be able to hurt me
or these couple of people aren't going to be able to hurt me.
Obviously, if you saw a bunch of reinforcements
to run in the room with axes, well, yeah, pick slashing damage. Yeah.
Yeah. Or I want to run at someone and attack them
and not be. Vulnerable to their
so we'll say because you already have armor, we'll say that the
the armor that you have, like your AC is not your AC won't change,
but you'll have these added bonuses to your ability.
So you're going to be taking half damage basically to anything nonmagical.
Unless your AC is AC Slater,
because you'll become a lot more rounded as the series goes on.
So we'll retcon that it was supposed to be lightning damage,
but this is this is much better.
And the weapons that got doled out, it wasn't actually bAlydinced
the way that I had set it up.
So let's do that. Fucking Ranger gets screwed again.
I'm sorry. Just kidding.
No, it's fine. It's all it's all coming up Carla now.
And I think that's it or maybe it's not.
But that's all I have.
Let's go.
Maybe let's go through some of your spells, because like you said,
you're nonmagical, but you do have a lot of spells that can help you. Right.
So let's maybe go through some of those.
Yeah. So I have
starting at the low end,
I have hail of thorns, which just throws out some
some thorns on a thing, gives them an extra D10.
So it's not bad, but that's on a ranged weapon attack.
One thing to remember is that's a bonus action, too.
So that doesn't count as a regular action.
So you cast that and then you can still do your attack
or three attacks or whatever you have.
So if you were using your bow, you could cast that
and then go through with your attacks like normal. Yep.
OK, because in in combat, you have your movement,
you have a bonus action and then you have your regular action.
And then if you have extra actions, that's what gets added up.
But right. Yeah.
So you can you can do you can move,
cast that and then still fire an arrow and still do. Right.
Extra damage.
Yeah, honestly, I think it's just because it's right.
Like I have maybe used it, but because it's ranged, I don't use it a lot.
Animal friendship.
Animals are the best.
Hunter's Mark, I have used this as well, although not often,
but I get an extra D6 and then it gives me like
wisdom bonuses and stuff on it. Yeah.
That's that's like the real low, low, low, low level version of the oath bow.
It's just like I say, like, I'm going to get you.
And then sometimes I do.
Well, it gives you it gives you advantage and stuff, too, doesn't it?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think so.
In snaring strike, same thing.
Weapon attack and then like some vines and stuff come out
and try to restrain them. Mm hmm.
A pass without trace.
Come on, we all know what that does.
Come up, let's talk about that a bit.
Water walk.
I can walk on water.
And so can you guys.
Which we used one time, I'm pretty sure. Yeah. Yeah.
And then you wrote on your alligators, too.
So it all it all worked out.
Wind wall.
Just like it sounds, a big wall and it will
it does give a bludgeoning
bludgeoning bludgeoning damage and can blow away
like fog and smoke and stuff.
I mean, honestly, I just need to like use my spells more.
And then conjure barrage,
which is my new one that I just got on this most recent level up,
which is a real fun one.
It's kind of. Yeah.
So I guess the biggest thing I'd recommend for your spells
and stuff is just look at which ones are bonus actions,
because you can do those no matter what and then still do all your regular
like a Hunter's Mark.
You can use that and then still do all your sword attacks, right?
And do extra damage and have advantage.
And like it all stacks.
And then you get bonuses for hitting this one thing
because, yeah, Hunter's Mark is a bonus.
The
hail of thorns is a bonus.
By the way, that hail of thorns, if you use it at a higher level,
it goes up like every time.
So, yeah.
And I now have like I do have third level spell slots now.
So, yeah, which is which is good.
Yeah, so that that gives me a bit more juice on some of those.
But yeah, I definitely like don't use my spells enough
and snaring strike is a bonus action as well.
Like a lot of ranger stuff is bonus action because they they want you
to be able to use nature and still deal out a shit ton of damage.
Right. So it's like a defense offense all in one.
Yeah, I just just need to remember.
Yeah. That's why we're going.
It's why I think that's the theme of tonight's why we just need to remember.
We just need to remember why we're going through now.
So, yeah, like I said, when we when we hit combat and you start swinging,
Amy or Tom can be like, hey, what about Hunter's Mark?
Or hail of thorns, because you're firing an arrow as an option.
I would like to throw out a preemptive apology to the listeners
that when we immediately forget about these things in the next episode,
please don't be mad. Yeah.
We're doing our best.
And sometimes that's not very good.
But we our intentions are so good. So good. Yeah.
Just a little side note.
I picked a feat, gave me 24 extra hit points.
What? Nice. Was it tough?
Was it tough? Yeah, it was.
I was like, a lot of these other things are kind of cool,
but I think mostly I just need to not die.
And I have very little hit points comparatively to others.
So, yeah. Yeah.
Now, you're all pretty well, aside from Flint, you're like
because you have 114, Nularaaa has 124, Flint has a thousand.
Gosh, I'm so close.
Hey, can I figure out these rings?
Would you mind giving me a little info?
Only if Carla's done. Sorry.
Yeah, I think I am.
Yeah, between the tough feat and Dwarven toughness,
as a bonus being a Mountain Dwarf, I have just a scads of hit points.
You're so tough. Just so tough.
So, yeah. Like double tough, guys.
So from Namur, you got Ring Gates.
Ring Gates, knew it.
So these always come in pairs, two iron rings,
each about 18 inches in diameter.
The rings must be on the same plane of existence
and within 100 miles of each other to function.
Whatever is put through one ring comes out the other
and up to 100 pounds of material can be transferred each day.
Objects only partially pushed through and then retracted do not count.
So if you reach your arm through, pull something back out
like your arm doesn't count, but whatever you brought through with it counts.
Whereas if you send Flamikinskins through it, she counts.
You know what I'm saying?
OK, but we went through this.
Can I punch through it?
Yeah, I mean, OK.
Yeah, I mean, my whole fist can go through it.
Like, yeah. OK, so here, Flint, hold this up to your face.
Yeah, this. Oh, this.
So this useful, useful device allows you to instantaneously transport
the instantaneous transport of items or messages and even attacks.
A character can reach through and grab things near the other ring
or even stab a weapon through.
So if desired, alternatively, shit,
you could like throw it in front of someone
while someone shoots an arrow through the other one and like.
Yeah, that was a crazy coordinated attack.
Portal shit happening here.
Yeah.
Alternatively, a character could stick his head through to look around.
A spellcaster could even cast a spell through a ring gate.
Creatures of tiny, diminutive or fine size can pass through easily.
Each ring has an entry side and an exit side,
both marked with appropriate symbols.
Yes, I do remember in the mirror showing me that and being like.
Look in here in that episode, Thaddeus also picked up a wand of fear
and Flamikins Kins picked up three arrows of dragon slaying.
So just to keep in mind who keeps track of those
as characters come and go and.
You know what you might want to steal from them.
Noice. Noice. Noice.
So 18 inches, these are big rings.
Well, they're yeah, they're so Flamikins Kins could fit through them.
Yeah. Yeah, I have them kind of around me as I do my bow, I think.
So you're going through, but coming through them.
You can't put yourself through them.
Thanks. How do I hold them?
You put them in a bag.
It's like on your belt.
So you're just holding them on your belt, probably.
OK, yeah, until you find some other way to get by.
If you put your arm through them, it's coming through the other one.
Or coming out of the other one.
So like, it's like, how do you even hold on to them?
That's fucked up.
Let's not get into that.
Let's say you can hold on to the fucking ring.
Well, yeah, they're on your belt, we'll say.
OK, so yeah, we did all level ups.
We did items, we did spells.
The last thing we wanted to touch on was just kind of the goals
that you've hit to this point and where we should pick up next,
because we're not going to get to playing tonight.
Obviously, it is.
So you guys have
we can talk about, you know, kind of the goals you've got to since the last
council session, because you guys are more than likely heading back
to council, I assume.
Well, to tell them about how the drag meeting went,
even though it doesn't turn.
It turns out they don't fucking care.
Well, no, they do care.
And they want you to do.
I know I just am a little bit.
They have some demands.
They want you to do a bunch of shit for them in order to care.
No, no, not the dragons, the council.
They've been dicks like you guys fly under the radar, do your own thing.
We can't support you.
No, OK, stop.
That's not the that's not the council.
OK, stop there, because you've got two separate things you're dealing with.
Now, you've got the council who are the people in Waterdeep,
and then you've got the Guild of the Nine Shadows.
Oh, right. The guild is wanting us to be on the down low.
They don't want to publicly fund or support anybody there.
OK, right. OK.
So you're not going back to the guild.
You're going back to the council.
Yes. Right.
Who sent you to the Misty Forest and to the Dragon Council meeting.
The guild has no say what's happening.
And they've let's just pretend they don't even exist.
Yeah. So we need to return to the council and report on
on dragon assistance and tell them, hey, because as of right now,
you is story wise, have no other real leads.
Well, we we kind of need to go and get this shit done for the.
Dragons, I need to go up to Silvery Moon to get a formal apology for.
OK, go back to the council because Lady
Illustrile is like they might be able to take care of it.
She's the she's the high queen of silver.
Oh, OK. Well, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
In theory, we should be able to go back and say, like, they're going to help,
but these are their demands.
Everybody you need to talk to is going to be at the council
in one way, shape or form. OK, good.
Or some representative of.
So I'm looking like back to our notes,
and this is from holy shit so long ago.
My December 29th.
Twenty sixteen. Oh, God.
OK, twenty sixteen.
Oh, you're going back to old, old stuff.
Well, this was my our last.
Is that right? No, because it's got to be twenty.
Like this is our last tasks.
But listen, guys, we did all this stuff.
Listen to these things that were on our task list.
Wrap things up with McAuth.
We did that. Excellent.
It were speaker of around the white is in the Serpent Hills.
Caught that bad.
Made a look at Flint naked.
Naren Vane is in the Misty Forest.
Down that son of a bitch.
We we just did that.
Free Little Rock. We did that first.
We did. Yeah.
That was a scary episode. Yeah.
Yeah.
So I just wanted to let you guys know we have accomplished
a lot of things that we were supposed to.
That makes me feel a lot better.
He did it. Yeah.
Like there was a to do list and we did it.
We we did it.
And we did it. Yeah.
OK. That being said, I will go back to the council.
Anybody else know anything else we have on our list?
Because I don't think we do.
Like I think I think we'll talk to the council.
Fixing Flint's double situation on the list.
But yeah, that hasn't.
Yeah, that hasn't come up between characters yet, though.
No, you've only told Flannigan's. Yeah.
I start to unbutton my shirt.
What the fuck is going on here?
Thea has a doppelganger because of.
Yes. Crazy worlds and because of Ty.
Yeah, I mean, it wasn't because of Ty,
but it was a good tie in to actually introduce it.
Ty in.
Ha.
Yeah, I like this, like, PS, there are parallel worlds
and there's a version of each of us in each world.
No big deal. But we can't talk about this now.
Yeah, we can't. We'll grab a bean bag later and hash this out.
Totally. Thank you, everybody, for listening to this.
Whatever this was. Right.
Please send your tips and information for us.
We wanted really we wanted to just kind of remember for ourselves,
but also know that we we do care about mechanics and stuff.
So we try to care about.
We try. We do try our best.
We legitimately do.
And there's things we've never explained that we've just had
before we started playing.
So it's probably helpful to actually say like, oh,
I've had this thing the whole time.
That's why this happens.
Yeah. So thank you for listening.
Next week will be or next next week will be Carla's episode
for Women in Tabletop Gaming Month.
And then the week after that will be a regular episode
where we'll have a guest star on as well.
And we'll actually like roll dice and stuff.
Maybe. Yeah, we better.
There'll be some dice rolling.
I feel like I haven't rolled dice in forever, which I mean,
it's really a bad thing for me.
So thank you, everybody. Bye.
Yes, thank you. Bye.
Ending things. Bye. Bye.
Lululeven. Lulululeven. Lululeven.
How'd this turkey get in here?
Cereal week.
Oh, shit. How do I? What the fuck?
What are you trying to do?
That's pretty much our podcast in one line.
Oh, shit, what the fuck? How do I?
Yeah, that should be our tagline.
There we go. OK.
Did you want to go get a beer?
Did you want to go get me?
I will go get you a beer.
Your beer tastes yucky.
Did you drink my beer?
Is that why my beer is empty?
No, I had a sip and I don't know if someone was looking at me.
Russ, you're the reason your beer is empty.
It's pretty standard pale ale.
Yours is a steam brewed YVR session IPA though, so it's much better.
Oh, fancy girl.
I'm a fancy girl.
You don't want one of these then?
No.
Says the guy who was drinking a Pamplemousse Perrier.
And I'm the fancy girl, Tom?
Okay.
Tom's pretty fancy.
Hashtag fancy boy.
This is going to be hilarious when you pick the same spell to put back in there that you got rid of.
Is it Ice Storm? Wall of Fire? No. Dominate Bees? No.
Dominate Bees?
Bees, just Bees specifically.
Bees, you are mine!
Bees do as I say.
Be kind of incredible.
Right?
Who's your queen now, Bees?
I want to fucking use that on myself.
I don't know.
Doesn't matter anymore, you don't have it.
It's gone.
It's going to bug me.
Clean slate! All new spells!
Yay!
Why are you trying to hurt me?
Slowly her spells disappear as she forgets everything druid.
Oh, that's a good...
No, it's not.
Oh, here we go.
I like it.
Yeah, the Rod of Lordly Might information only has buttons 1, 2, 4 on it as far as the piece of paper that I have.
So I don't know if there was more pieces that I didn't attach to the book, but I don't know why I just would have only stuck the one on it.
I apologize if I did not give you all of them.
It is split over two pages, so there should have been another page, but I don't know.
Yeah, that's all I have.
In fact, three years, the dastardly things I would have given you, this magic item that wouldn't have told you what the whole thing did.
Well, you probably did, and they probably fell out in my car, and then I was like, what's this hunk of junk?
Drain life? Who needs that?
May I continue?
Yeah, of course.
We already spent enough time talking about Thomstead.
Let's just continue.
Dumbgeons & Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.